jim wakes up to the sound of his phone ringing. he hurriedly grabs the darn thing from under his pillow, partly because he knew it was dad, but it was more of he wanted the disturbing sound to end. it was his dad. he sits up on the upper bunk of the double-decker that he and his roomate bought a year before. “hello dad”, his voice was groggy as hell. he takes a look at the wall clock, it said 830 am. damn it was early. he only had 4 hours of sleep. his dad begins his litany of reminders while jim listens, yawning a lot, dropping “yeps” once in a while to keep his dad some company. he peeks down the lower bunk to check if his roomate was asleep, he didnt want to disturb him and the girlfriend. he knew the girlfriend went home with him last night. they were not there. relieved, he resumed listening to his dad. he was answering in phrases now. his voice was loud, almost shouting. his dad has trouble hearing clearly nowadays. then a phone rings. his roomate’s phone. he looks around and saw two phones on the table. “damn it!”, he exclaims. “damn it. they’re doing it again.” jim frowns at the thought of having to play asleep, again. “bye dad”. the bathroom door opens.

posted Monday, 26 July 2004

»read more from "whew"

last sunday i bought a book by jd salinger, entitled the catcher in the rye. most of my novel-reading friends highly recommend it. halfway thru the book i still can’t see why they’re all excited about it. it’s a narrative of a self-centered rich kid in new york, faced with the biggest problem of his life: spending more than a hundred dollars in two days. im turning 25 in a couple of days. i got a little depressed. i blame this friend of mine who once gave me a list of things to do before turning 25. reading the catcher in the rye is one of them. the book tells me i’m poor.

i wanted a car badly for my 25th bday but it looks like that’s not going to happen. so i bought myself a used jacket for P125. a good buy, i should say. my officemate liked it. it makes me look like one of the junkies from danny boyle’s trainspotting. i happen to buy a pirated dvd copy of it two weeks ago. one of my favorite movies. the movie tells me to CHOOSE LIFE! way to go renton!

my mother texted me the sad news. remember our dog who ate the chicks? my father and his friends finally decided to end his life. the poor king has gone mad after biting a passerby. a minute of silence please, for king, our 5 yr old dog. i knew him since he was a puppy. his instincts killed him. we will surely miss him. i wonder what my instincts are. i hope it would keep me alive.

so what’s in store for me two days before hitting the quarter mark?  10 bottles of beer probably. it’s sad to know that i already know what i’ll have for lunch on my birthday: a quarter pounder from mcdonald’s. no it’s not a coincidence. a quarter pounder for lunch on my first day of quarterlife. i enjoy these kind of stuff. matching nonsense with my life. like how i savor every minute of this last tuesday as a 24 yr old. somebody fix me. somebody hand me a bottle of beer.

first book i’ll read upon turning 25: crime and punishment by fyodor dostoevsky. that same stupid friend also gave me a list of things to do before turning 30. one of them is to read a russian novel. dostoevsky is a hard read, i know. ive been reading the brothers karamazov for years now. one thing im excited about is the next one on the list: learn a foreign language. spanish is up next. muy bien senor climaco! sexo? please.. haha forgive my spanish. like the internet, porn is the fastest way to learn it. got a couple of spanish movies in my collection now. sex and lucia, and y tu mama tambien. got a copy of city of god, too, but that’s in portuguese. i dont mind. they sound the same anyway. i love spanish tiles. try dropping by tapas tapas in emerald avenue ortigas. they’ve got nice spanish tiles.

posted Tuesday, 20 July 2004

»read more from "choose life"

so what happens now? where am i going to? you dont have a car. you’re stuck in a moment that you cant get out. why save for a future that’s already here? too much alternative music turned you into a freak. nope. i love the lyrics. these guys wrote the story of my life. enough of those artsy books, try some fantasy this time. you need to feed your imagination. enough of rationalizing things that dont even matter. get up early on a bed that’s too soft for comfort. you’re wasting a minute watching the clock turn. get up and wear a smile. it’s a beautiful day today. not too hot, not too cold. a low light hangs over the pool table. shoot them all. calm down, or the noise will kill you. so what’s wrong with you? get a life. and live it good. time passed you by while you were sleeping. there goes the love of your life.

i rent an apartment. i own a ref. a dvd player. nice speakers. a handful of books. a dozen dvd’s. and a microwave oven. things i cant live without. i buy soap bars for their scent and i collect them. i got my head shaved two weeks ago. i weigh 20 lbs heavier than last year. damn that’s a lot! i dont have a pet. got a couple of audio recordings. i know my fans are dying to get a copy of it. damn it’s taking me too long to finish the album. got to buy a digicam and begin my retirement. a used laptop, too, for movie making.

i can’t believe i’m 25. when i was twelve i never had a plan for myself when i reach this age. i remember way back in sixth grade, our language teacher made us write a composition on how we see ourselves ten years after. i think i said i’d be on my way to med school. tough luck. i became an engineer. no regrets though, i love what i do and im earning pretty much. that’s a plus right? you get to earn for yourself a decent wage while enjoying it. it doesnt feel like work at all.

lovelife? zero. im no rush. i figured i have to enjoy being single (again) after having been committed for 6 yrs (with different women of course hehe). and i can say im at the prime of my life right now, coz i get what i want, whenever i want it. you know what i mean.

thank god for my family. thank god for my friends. thank god for this life. strong ice!

jobarclix made this comment,

golda, ahaha yup i read that entry, got me worried a bit. pero i dont mind, i dont consider this as literature naman eh. those that i think are something i could be proud of, hindi ko pinopost, i write them on paper.. haha yup try ko mag LAe this year, up law or nothing! ey goodluck sa bar.. three months to go. hehe

comment added :: 6th June 2005, 14:39 GMT+08:30

»read more from "confessions of a 24 yr old"

that when i look out the window it doesnt mean im thinking of you. when my thoughts drift away i turn my head to look out to where my dreams were made. that when i close my eyes it doesnt mean im thinking of you. im just tired and my thoughts drift away to a time when i was happy. that when i smile it doesnt mean im contented with what i have. i try not to take things for granted and the small details of life amaze me. that when i cry it doesnt mean im in despair. ive lived a life in melancholy and ive got no tears left for sorrow. that when im happy it doesnt mean ive found you. ive been trying not to wait and every sunrise brings hope that the final day is near. that when im quiet it doesnt mean im thinking of you. i listen. i anxiously wait. got to be strong now. take a step closer.

posted Friday, 9 July 2004

»read more from "why"