JOBARCLIX

Driving a brand new car has always been at the top of my goals in life. I keep telling my friends that when it happens, id drive madly to tagaytay or subic on a sunny afternoon with my girlfriend and we’d try to hit the beach just exactly when the sun sets.. i just keep on talking and dreaming.. and I know my friends just let it thru to keep their ears from bleeding. Well today, luck smiled on me. guess what? Obvious na. that dream just happened. My girlfriend and I had our first trip to tagaytay with our 9 month old baby, mat. mat was pretty excited too and just when we passed by the toll gate he let out his first word: dada.

And then I woke up. My phone says 10am. Took me 5 minutes to scram out of the house, shower and mouthwash included. I had to rush to the mall to make it to the LBC cutoff time for same day deliveries. And then I felt something was not right, it was as if another edsa 2 was happening at the market2 in taguig. And then I realized, today is father’s day. And the three text messages from random people with greetings made sense.

I didn’t make it to the cutoff time. the LBC branch at the market2 suggested that I go to their glorietta branch for my service order. The glorietta branch declined my request because they don’t send laptops wrapped in just a laptop bag. my brother picked me up on his way to Rockwell after I texted him a sweet father’s day greeting and in the DHL office at the parking level, I got the message. I cant send the laptop today to my father who is eagerly waiting for it in davao because the dhl in Rockwell only accepts packages for international destinations.

At 6pm I had enough of my misadventure: three malls packed with edsa revolution numbers of different socio-economic classes, all happily celebrating a not so relevant holiday, for me at least. It felt like this day was not for me. And then it had me thinking, on days like these, aside from the obvious (be with dad, call dad, etc) what should non-parent bachelors do?

In between bites of an oliver’s sandwich, I thought of the dream I had this morning, of my girlfriend and our non-existent baby. i began to evaluate my priorities in life and I cant quite convince myself of the reason why im delaying my plans on having a baby when im more than ready to handle it. takte, yung mga kargador nga sa pier na mas bata pa sakin, pito na anak. I tried to dial my girlfriend but I cant find her number.. no traces of it. She doesn’t even have a name. coz she does not even exist. Hahay buhay.

And then I thought of my dad and how he had three kids when he was my age. I never thought fatherhood would be difficult because I didn’t see him falter. He was my hero and still is and always will be. but I never really had that chance to honor him like the way valedictorians have during graduation, or oscar winners or sports stars. And then it hit me, before the day ended, I decided to do something grand. I texted my father and told him im giving him the laptop for free. My father’s day gift for him. what the hell, it’s just a monthly amortization of 2k anyway. I can see him smile thru his reply, a dignified tnx.

And it felt good. And it made me happy. And I passed the burden of sending the laptop to my brother. He said he would be going to davao in a week or two.

Tonight while sipping gin tonic I realized this day is really not for people like me: successful, good-looking, sex-crazed, non-parent bachelors who live on their own but are willing to sleep around posh condo units in manila with equally successful, good-looking, sex-crazed, non-parent bachelorettes. This day is for all the dads who helped us become what we are now, directly or not. im really glad that this day exists because it gives me a reason to honor my father and thank him for everything. This day provides us an excuse to express everything we want to say to him. So I hope you all took time to greet your dads, while they’re still around. Mother’s day is a different story. Im getting soft, had too much gin probably.

Ive been thinking of how id be as a father. I can almost paint the features of my firstborn, mat. I feel him by my side in long trips to tagaytay or subic. i can hear him call me dada. I can feel his will, his courage, his strength, his passion, his love for the arts, his mastery of sports, his wisdom.. But his eyes are cold. I have yet to find his mother would give him his heart.

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